Who asks for an easy life?

Think about it. If you were asked,  "What kind of life do you want?" What would your answer be? Some would say"Exciting!", some would say "luxurious" another would say "adventurous". Do you have a wish? I don't know if I ever did. I wonder sometimes what I would have chosen?

When I think about the question I realise I never expected an easy life and I prepared for a tough future.I have travelled, been on an expedition to Antarctica, skydived, mountain climbed, scuba dived, raced high powered motorbikes, loved, been loved and I have 3 beautiful children. I have been impulsive yet careful taking reasonable risks and enjoying the moment.  I have had an exciting life so far...

Having an accident and losing my movement below the neck puts me on a path I never expected. Being in a wheelchair and being paralysed isn't easy. It's tough, very tough. You can never expect it to get better, you hope it won't get worse.I occasionally wake up and hope the day is not too stressful and painful. I hope for something interesting and I look forward to seeing friends or family. It's not the kind of life I would have wanted. It's the life I have and I will enjoy it.

Do you want an easy life?

Sleep In

Waking up on a Sunday Morning is rarely a luxury for me. With a life of paralysis there are certain disciplines which, if not adhered to, could lead to further compromises during the subsequent hours. I wouldn't mind these inconveniences but they are stressful and time consuming. Getting up late is a luxury to be relished and enjoyed. So I did this morning. Yes the option was there and no I had no "routines" that needed doing, so I slept.

A lesson that I have learned of late is to enjoy the life you have now,in fact don't just enjoy it, value every moment, squeeze the juice from it. You will never have this time again. Never again will you be this age and never again be who you are now.I don't care if you are overweight, in debt. or disabled. There's something to be squeezed from being you, now.

We live our lives like we eat an orange. We are so busy picking up the next piece we don't get to savour the sweet golden sunshine of the segment in our mouths. I will instead of, reaching for and dreaming of the future look for the good in every moment.

Rainy Day

Rain this morning. I woke early and after my shower I came through to my office and spent 2 hours getting the network setup operating. Well, I hate it when things don't work the way they should and there's always a reason.
I have advancing on the development of noo oil and we start the research soon. I want to improve some characteristics and bring out a range of complimentary products. Some ideas are cream, shampoo, and moisturising soap. Research will be done by University of Bradford.

Which way to turn.

It's a quiet Sunday morning. My daughters are awake and having breakfast. They arrived last night after spending the afternoon shopping with mum. Exhausted and hungry they were grateful to relax and dig into a lovely dinner.

I am contemplating my noo skin and nail website. I don't seem to be encouraging purchase through the pages. I am getting about 40 hits/week but very few direct sales. I need to convert the initial interest into sales and I guess my approach isn't effective. I have tried a gentle approach and a quirky front page. I think I need to emphasise the quality and dependability. So its back to the drawing board.

Broadcast or Broadband

Keeping up with blogs, facebook, twitter and e-mail is a full time job.I get media saturation just thinking about it! Then you have all the scare stories about personal information being ripped off and about loose comments on a twitter post. How on earth does one keep up with it all?

I am adept at PC and internet usage and can move effortlessly between platforms, programs and social media tools. What is exciting about the new tools is the power they place at your feet. However, they are like a new mistress,they are never satisfied and need constant attention to keep them meeting your needs.

In the days when a monthly newsletter was sufficient to i
nform all, we have moved into a world where real time is the only game in town. This may be exactly what is needed between close friends, but it's now expected at every interface with friends, customers and business people. It is a different way of thinking. In the past we socialised between work, now we work between social networking.

Human interaction is built along societal rules. These rules are rapidly changing. We only have to look at the recent events of Egypt and Tunisia to realise that these new tools change the balance of control. By linking people effortlessly and effectively in large groups or networks we remove central control of the power of broadcasting to the masses. Now people rely, increasingly on others for the "true story". Broadband is leading the broadcast at the moment. Mistrust and bias is considered part of the government media image.



I watched the Bafta winning movie The Social Network this weekend. The enormous power of people harnessed through basic human behaviours, keeping in touch, seeing and being seen, friends. So I now spend half of my day keeping up with the latest news and views.

Contemplations

In my office. Contemplating Christmas. Sounds from the kitchen, banging and scraping. I realise that my mind isn't processing correctly and I feel dejected. My comfort is poor and I hang on to my pride of being strong but feeling weak and too tired to shout. I must mentally prepare for spending time with the others. Today is our staff/carers Christmas dinner.

My friend Malcolm sent me this link Dakar Supporters Club seems like fun take a look!

X-factor goes XXX

In the UK we have a talent show called X-factor. It is a high energy quest, on live TV to find exceptional talents in the area of pop music and it is based on the performance and charisma of the contestants. Last night was the penultimate show as the contestants performed their hearts out to be the winner. Being the winner is a guarantee of fame and fortune in addition to a cash and benefit prize.

I follow the show occasionally as I have been fascinated by the variation of talent and the development of each contestant. Last night left me in a perplexing mood. I woke up during the night thinking about what I had seen. Young people have such big horizons these days. To be able to appear before an audience of over 10 million at the age of 17 is an amazing privilege and opportunity.

What disturbed me was not contestants. It was from the way the invited guests (Christina Aguilira and Rihanna amongst others) used sexuality in their performances. Don't get me wrong I am not against sexuality in music it is, after all, an important of being human. What concerns me is the over emphasis on sex in music essentially watched and followed by young (12-16 year old's}. I know that I sound like a grumpy old man but I remember having so to much to deal with and enjoy during my youth. Anyway, this got me thinking about being young and the pressure we faced.

In each of us we have powerful forces at work.

• There is a powerful biological drive fuelled by a flood of hormones in our teenage years.
• There's a social pressure which comes from our upbringing, parents and society (friends, teachers).
• There is a final force which is similar in all of us, conscience (this is our inherent sense of right and wrong).

It's a miracle that we manage to grow up at all with all this pressure! Anyway my point about the exuberant use of sexuality is that we already have a powerful force in this area and it certainly doesn't require stimulation! I hope that the youth get through this, as a parent I am bewildered and unsure how we are meant to help.

Noo project - nooskin

Busy can't describe the hectic pace of my schedule lately. After numerous requests from people to get access to an oil I have been using for my body care, I decided to develop it as a brand. Frantic work into bottles and labels, trademarks and web domains. I finally settled on nooskin.

The oil is so effective and yet so safe. It works using natural plant mechanisms that plants use to protect and heal themselves. I use it for nail care, eczema relief and control and massage. It has eliminated my flaky, itchy scalp.

I recommended it to a carer who complained of poor, thin nails. Today she boasts about her strong healthy nails and to be honest, they are a marked improvement.

Take a look at my website for nooskin.

Illness and habits

I have been through much struggle on this journey. I have learned a lot and felt new feelings, had new thoughts. I have been the victim of prejudice and the object of admiration. Frustration and achievement are constant companions as I endeavour to live my life to the full.

Whether frustrated and fed up or depressed and apathetic, the fact remains that nothing will improve next time if I don't get up and try again. So I don't deserve praise or admiration. I am only doing what I have to. Options, choices are generally a luxury in the life of disability. Sometimes doing nothing and giving up or trying again are the only options.

My health has suffered over the past few few months due to a persistent UTI infection. I believe that the cause has been my change in hygiene routine. It's in our daily behaviours that long term change is achieved. Eating an extra sandwich a day or an extra glass of wine can add a few pounds to the waist. So too, climbing the stairs every day instead of using the lift may have a long time to make a noticeable difference. It is human nature to think that which took 12 months, can be changed in 2 weeks. I have learned that to keep my weight in check I must resist the extra biscuit, or glass of wine and choose to eat off a smaller plate.

I am working on a new project at the moment. I hope that you will all support me when it goes live next year. More about this later...

Sunday Morning

I woke up thinking about how I have changed. I have changed so much. I am a morning person and love an early start to get my thoughts together and to enjoy the stillness before the day begins. I love nothing more than to be busy with a hobby or project. Now I am struggling to do anything. Sleep is a slippery companion. I am mostly in pain or on the edge of being in pain; a cough, even a yawn can set off a reaction which twists my waist and drives the pain further.

So I make it through each night with intermittent sleep. I don't mind that so much but its the days that drive me mad. I barely get things done because of distractions due to pain and posture.

It's my relationships that suffer too. I don't get out and I don't do much. I feel like a stranger to my children. Their lives don't include me. I don't blame them anyway any contact with me is honestly boring by any standards (never mind a teenager) .

"Enough of the woe is me", I hear you say. You are undoubtedly correct to make this remark. My defence is that I am trying to give the account of my experience in the chair as this was the purpose of my blog in the first place. Also, to be fair, I am concerned at the amount of time I waste dealing with the consequences.

My mind remains active and I am developing 2 ideas into products which I hope to put into test soon.

Friends and old values

I was visited in the past week by a dear friend. I met Milada when I was propped up in a hospital bed in Germany, unable to speak or move. Milada has remained a friend ever since and I cannot take credit for this good friendship as I have not been a good contributor to it during the ups and downs since. However, I am grateful to find people in this world who still hold fast to lasting values.

Milada with me in my backyard

Milada's stay with me was a reminder that we all need each other and life, living and loving are part of what makes us human. Our modern world is not very clever. Whilst we surround ourselves with gizmos and gadgets to help us achieve more output,we are isolating ourselves from the benefits only attained through social input. Yes talking on Facebook is good but face to face is better. Yes we can text updates every moment on twitter but how much better to have your thoughts spoken to someone you are with. Humans need each other. If Africans can say "It takes a whole village to bring up a child" are they referring the amount of people, or the quality of the interactions? I think a good friend is of more value to our happiness than a shopping centre of passers by. We cannot be happy in a cocktail party society. Sometimes to sit quietly with your best friend can mean more than a hundred conversations.

To all my friends: thank you.

I was pleased to have my children overnight. We spent some time together. I was presented with this lovely caramel sponge which we consumed with tea later.

Alex trying unsuccessfully to convince Dot that she really enjoys the trampoline.

constructive thoughts

To write about everything in ones life is an arduous task. This is especially true when your expression is through only a single method and single location. I use a computer in an office which is adapted for my use. I do also have a laptop but setup and comfort often limit the spontaneous capturing of thoughtful inspiration. I have noticed that my desire to document events has waned and I am become silent in my cocoon. This is largely a consequence. A consequence of fatigue and discomfort. Also a desperate sense that I am "running out of time" so I should not waste time with flowery prose. The reality is less dramatic and a more believable, I just waste my time doing non-constructive searches and fruitless activities.

If you are amongst the many regular readers of my blog or an e-mail correspondent than I humbly apologise for letting you down. I won't promise to do better, just to do my best at being better.

In my next post I will put some pictures of recent events.

Sunshine and Rainbows

Difficult times have come and gone in my life. People too, have come and gone. The good days don't have a meaning if you haven't seen the bad. Today the sun shines and life feels good. Coming through the coldest winter in 30 years. Finding my body weakening and my hope and spirit sinking I was in the place where infection could walk into my body. It cut me down for weeks and I struggle against it still. As hope begins to grow and a sense of spring filters into my spirit I remember what "good" feels like. I remember the bad days but it only makes the good feel sweeter. Like strawberries on the tongue of a starving man.

Yet the return to health is not complete and the damage can never be fully renewed. Despite the loss, hope exists. Not as an oblivious optimist blind to reality. Instead, sober in the knowledge of pain to come and disappointment ever near; to turn from sadness to look at the flicker of hope brings a rainbow and lifts the spirit.

Illness and changes

I know it's been ages. I have opened my blog several times to write up updates. Each time there has been something pressing to do. I was stopped in my tracks by an illness that had me so powerfully in its grip that for 5 days i couldn't eat and suffered soaring temperature whilst feeling cold since the fever broke I have been too weak to leave the bed and feel dizzy after sitting up.

Today I have lain in the sun and feel enough strength to write. I write slowly using an onscreen keyboard. I select each letter and click with the thumb on my left hand. Some-days the mouse is too difficult to press and words are a challenge.

I have been absorbed in the last 3 months with developments in the charity Open Roads for which I am a trustee. This has been stressful and physically demanding. We eventually pulled out of a partnership with another group external to our county on the basis that we felt that there was poor representation of local people and our influence would be insufficient to do the role required.

I hope everyone had a great Easter bless you all.

Life on 4 wheels and Christmas 2009.

Christmas 2009

A Festive wreath made by the talented Val

Christmas day- was a quiet peaceful, affair and it was a good day to share with with my friends Christian and Jackie. Christian is newly acquainted with a wheelchair. A successful business man running his IT company he has suffered enormously with business and health adversity. This is a testing time for him. The battle is on all fronts. The toughest test is a lonely one and the only person to do it is within. He is a man of courage but even very courageous have dealt with less and withered away.

I had decided that I would be preparing and servicing duck on Christmas day. This we duly started over a day beforehand. I made a a honey butter and orange basting sauce.We salted and seasoned the duck and stuffed it with a sausage sage and onion stuffing. On the day it was roasted for 2.5 hours. For vegetables we used garden fresh carrots and parsnips with butter and rosemary and thyme flavoured olive oil. Similarly for the potatoes, with the skin and par cooked.For greenery we used brussel sprouts fried in bacon pieces with extra butter and fresh black pepper.

Jackie made a delicious baked cheese cake which was enjoyed by all.

A few days before Christmas it started to snow.

With the help of Debbie and Val, Christmas hampers with home-made preserve from my garden , nuts, fresh baked Ginger Biscuits dipped in black chocolate and a tangerine.

The snow remained till boxing day

I have not been bloging for some time now and I see that there are gaps in the journey of my passage through living with an acquired disability. I will attempt to roll back the shutter and let you into the events which passed me by. I have been busy andwhen my mind wrestles with a problem I find it difficult to sit and write. Today I am less distracted by the many problems which have gripped my free mind. So here I am. This account would be incomplete without pictures which, fortunately, for some events I have.

Let me start with a story about my children my girls to be specific. They have been keen drama students for a few years now at a private drama school. They have consistently performed well and starred in a few productions of the drama group. This last production was "The Wizard of Oz" the script was a mix of the Wiz (which starred Michael Jackson) and the original Wizard of Oz. Ruth had an excellent performance in the role of the strawman or scarecrow.Carmen played two roles, the, sassy, jazzy, southern drawling good witch of the south and a singer from the emerald city.

Ruth and Carmen singing

My Children's school results have been fairly good this year Alex is redoing his A level first year with 2 repeat subjects (PE and Maths) and 2 new subjects (Psychology and Business Studies). This course of action, ie staying at Sharnbrook and keeping in the environment of his existing comfort zone, was not my preferred route. I favoured a new environment without the current ruts. I offered that he attend school here in Wellingborough and I would give him a place to work as well as be on hand to assist. At any rate the decision is made and he is seemingly settling down into a more work oriented routine.

Carmen is in her GCSE's . Much loved by all her she gets glowing reports from most. Her favourite subjects are Photography Drama and English Although a good French speaker she is less enthusiastic it and tends to give give it little attention. Her Maths Science and Sociology get good results but she seems to be less keen on them.

Ruth is also popular with teachers and classmates unliike the quiet and slightly shy Alex, the demur and femine Carmen; Ruth is a chatty and out-going character with a ready smile and something to say. All her results are good especially in the sciences and maths.

It has been over a year since I started on the journey to create a new charity called Open Roads. It has at times been very exhausting and very expensive at several levels. One should never set out on a journey without considering the cost. Then you need to be prepared for the unexpected. This journey was no exception. It proved to test every aspect that one is warned about. The most unfortunate was the loss of a founding member, whom I greatly love and admire. I have since stepped into the role of chairman and whilst I have always been an active member of the team, I was happy to play the role of vice chairman. I pleased with our progress we have offices, we have funding till end of March 2010 and in April we commence with a contract to provide services in the county. So you could describe it as a successful year, I consider it to be a year of exceptional success. To check out our preliminary website go to www.openroads.org.uk

The economy and business in general forced me to consider a new line to my business. I developed OncePrint a part of the LCI Ltd business. I have found a way to combine my love for working with pictures with my IT skill. So I can now offer a consultancy in marketing and market research, a service producing marketing materials like banners and flyers and a photo print service. It has been an exceptionally busy period. Next year I would like to spend more time developing my Antarctic picture collection with gallery exhibitions.

My year has been full of events that would have derailed many a resilient warrior but I remain undeterred. Life is never the way you expect it to be and people are seldom what they promise to be. Hope for the best be thankful for what you get and forgive those who let you down.

Golden Eggs and piano blues

I have been very busy lately with updating my business. I have developed and launched a website and developed all the processes around delivering a product to the customer. What remains is just getting the marketing right. I think the product is so impressive in the "flesh" that it sells itself.

I would like to do more exhibitions and have been enquiring at art galleries to do a show my Antarctic work.

In between all the work I have found time to enjoy myself! I went to a blues evening in Finedon. I was very lucky to get to see a great live band called the Daniel Smith Blues Band. We had a great time listening to fantastic piano blues and drinking some micro-brewery bitter. When the show was hoping over I got to meet the band. See below.

The Daniel Smith Blues Band.

This week passed I prepared the final touches for the stand of my pictures at a Christmas Fayre. The event is more suitable for little stocking filler type gifts or crafts. I need to get my name out and show off the work in a tangible form.

The show went well and I learned a lot about selling pictures. I met some great people and many gave me their contact details for later.

The Castle Theatre is a great venue for live events and shows. This Christmas as there is every year, there is a pantomime. This year it's Mother Goose. I was visited by Mother Goose but I couldn't find a golden egg after "she" had left.

Shelley pictured with Mother Goose helped me with the stand. Thanks Shelley.

Once in a Lifetime.

Thanks to everyone who has helped me with the OncePrint business. I will be adding a gallery section containing photographs from artists and photographers . If you would like to contribute let me know and send me a sample of your work. If selected, I will explain the commission and pricing.

In the meanwhile a sample of my work.

The OncePrint poster

Contemplating a New World (descending onto the frozen sea)

Iceberg Icicles

Purple Sun over a tranquil sea at midnight

Winter sunset over a Sea Starting to Freeze

Do it yourself. Making it yourself.

I like to keep busy and I am. My new assistant, Val, and I were chatting about making boerewors (a South African sausage) .I never could have guessed at Val's industriousness within a week I was sending my recipe and talking about the mincer. Val managed to locate an old cast iron hand mincer (see below). With bags of fresh spices we setup, roasted the coriander, cracked the pepper and cubed the meat. The thing is this. To grind the meat feed the sausage and guide the finished work into a spiral.
Thanks to Val and thanks to John and Linda.

New Ventures, Learning and Living

Describing mundane daily life might appear to be a fruitless boring task. In essence it is. I think if you look hard enough at the mundane you will find it quite interesting. I had the opportunity to observe my daughter.

Ruth now just 13, she has been the baby of the family. 2 weeks ago I had Alex and Ruth to stay and Ruth wanted to earn some money doing chores. I needed stones removed in my garden and it's a terrible job. So I hoped Ruth could help me. She did and did a great job, sticking at it for 5 hours a day! After 3 days she had finished front and back with about 20 buckets !

Baked Potatoes

Sometimes time flies and sometimes it crawls. You know they say the length of 5 minutes depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. Well I must be in a time warp.

I need your help as it is.. In a few day I publish a website for a new business. All will be revealed. Just watch this space!

The weekend past was the warmest for awhile. I watched the Rugby on Justin TV (web based) and then sat outside by the fire chatting to my son. We had bought some fresh fish (trout) and some burgers and we just slowly prepared the meat before tucking to a sumptuous meal with baked potatoes salads and bread. Delicious!

Lawn Badminton.