Sunday, September 23, 2012

Facebook, friends and focus.

I have found Facebook a big distraction from my blog. It is often easy to while away an hour just checking fb or contributing a quick comment. Somehow it's more satisfing to spend an hour writing something considered and deliberate. Facebook has the fantastic feature of quick feeback and the ability to have several simultaneous conversations.



This week I was contacted by my best friend at school, Pieter. It's been oveer 20 years since we spoke. My life from a high flying manager with  an international job, has become a daily battle with paralysis and all the impact of the physical limitations I now have. Even simple things have become impossible or now require huge effort and patience. For example, I can't move below my neck but even just sitting upright is difficult without back and abdomen control. Probably the most frustrating thing for me is talking. Along with paralysis, I had some damage to speech and swallow. So for 6 months I was tube fed and couldn't speak. Trying to call someone like a nurse meant trying  to click my paralysed tongue or moan and blink. I developed enough tongue movement to allow rudimentary montone speech in short bursts.

The changes to me physically haven't changed the essential man part of me. I have sensation and all normal bodily functofions. Without the ability to express myself in satisfying ways, I am very quiet and don't socialise as frequently as I need. I miss hugs and cuddles and although not impossible sex is not spontaneous and free. So I have become a less extrovert person and can spend endless hours on my own.

So Facebook has helped me stay in touch but it has also become a sink for constructive musings or activity. This is something to be guarded against.

The past week saw the completion of my kitchen repair after a broken drain had caused a large buildup of damp and damage. I include a few pictures. The challenge to do a good job of it within the budget provided was impossible so I told the insurers that if they believed it was possible to achieve they should do it. So they did. A month later they were still busy. I believe they never managed to stay within budget either. Indeed the time alone would have come to 4 times the offer made to me. I did need to keep the doors and drawers but changed the handles and knobs.