A couple of months ago I spent a week in hospital with an infected gallbladder. I was very ill and in terrible pain. I couldn't move for the pain and food was out of question. I was scanned and probed and the Doctor decided that antibiotics were preferable to surgery. I think this was based on my condition (as a quadraplegic) and the potential impact of surgery. It was 3 days into my stay and on the 2nd set of antibiotics that I began to feel really low. I had a sense of my mortality and all my plans still unfulfilled, suddenly I was aware I didn't want to remain in the hospital, surrounded by strangers. I wanted to be with people I loved.
On this day, I was asleep. It was 4am and I was struggling. I was too weak to wake myself and the world began to fade; I realised I needed to come back. I was awoken by Debbie after she woke up to find me lying very still and I wasn't breathing. I was filled with a sense of gratitude, relief and a little afraid.
I decided I needed to get out of the hospital as soon as I could.
This weekend I had with my children and I loved every minute. I won't see them for 3 months and I will miss them.
Every moment of life is for being.... so be a part of every moment.
