I feel like I am going quite crazy. The memory of "woman " can be like a knife in the heart. I know that I have so much to be grateful for. I have a great home, good care, enough to provide my needs. I don't want for any more...

but the heart and body don't seem to obey the rules of logical argument. Neither the rule of sensible persuasion. In fact they are as relentless as a Siberian Winter and don't ever get tired or distracted. Attrition wears out the bravest man, eventually.

Logic is a poor weapon against this fiend. My remaining strength relies on sustenance by faith and hope. When "the thorn in my flesh" burns and festers, I resort to the hope and faith which has carried me when my weakness is exposed.

Ahh well, ...

The week ahead is school half term. My children have a week off school I have 3 days of work and then some time off. On Monday my uncle Hilbert's granddaughter arrives for a 5 day visit. I have never met Erica but I last saw her mother, my cousin, 30 years ago. I am looking forward to it.

The past week brought nothing new but the continuation of some project work. I am training a new carer at the moment but I hope to have a better solution soon. More later.