Being told about your children's achievements leaves one bursting with pride and satisfaction. If I had known this perhaps I would have tried harder at school, mmmm, maybe not, I was never that ambitious.

I want my kids to be happy in their skins ,to be well adjusted and to accept who they are.

I have recently had some good news about Alex and Carmen and I never realised what a powerful effect this was. I never like to place "expected achievements " for my kids to attain. I always felt they should enjoy their childhood, do their best in all things and discover who they are. Well when Alex told me recently about an A in maths and full colours for football, followed by Carmen's news today that her netball team won a shield at a tournament; I began bursting with pride. I know why now.

I felt proud and satisfied because of one important fact. It has not been easy for either of them. Alex has had to persevere with football without a father's day to day encouragement and the occasional kick about. For maths, his quiet disposition means he is virtually ignored, in class by teachers .So his achievement here is a credit to his wonderful persevering character.
Carmen has had to fight for a chance to play netball. Against, disdain and selfish behaviour from the better off kids she persevered to make the 3rd team. She continued to be committed and became team captain. At this point she led the team by example and I often overheard other parents remarking about her exceptional playing.

So their achievements have not been easily attained, but through hard work, perseverance and character. That's why I'm proud!

If you have given up on me, I won't forgive you. You can't expect me to update you all on my life, when you never tell me about yours! I say this a smile and a cheeky wink,but in truth I take this blog as a serious exercise. I want to lay bare some of the advantages and difficulties of a disabled life. Yes I believe there are some advantages. Many relate to my new view on things.

When I decided I was going to take the challenge on I had to do so wholeheartedly. You realise now that I was so distraught to find myself so absolutely helpless, unable to speak and move it is hardly surprising I had thoughts of suicide. I still do but now they are more academic and not a lingering obsession.

When you take a challenge like this on, the cold reality of the massive commitment and dedication required are certainly not apparent. My only thoughts were about not giving up. So I began to use the ability I have to be stubborn in a creative way. For example: If I couldn't solve a physical problem I would exhaust my knowledge of the properties of matter and physics trying to find alternatives my limited mobility might succeed in. If this failed I reached inside for the optimist and used the situation to see some aspect that was funny.

Of course if I knew then, what I know now, I may have shrunk away. Therein is the lesson, the longest and most difficult journey begins with the first step and the unwavering effort of putting 1 step in front of the other.


On a lighter note I had Carmen and Alex on Friday evening. Ruth and Carmen on Saturday and netball tournament with Carmen today . She received her second certificate for player of the week. She is a star! Showing real leadership and displaying all the self-doubt and humility of good leadership. I'm so proud of her!