If you have given up on me, I won't forgive you. You can't expect me to update you all on my life, when you never tell me about yours! I say this a smile and a cheeky wink,but in truth I take this blog as a serious exercise. I want to lay bare some of the advantages and difficulties of a disabled life. Yes I believe there are some advantages. Many relate to my new view on things.

When I decided I was going to take the challenge on I had to do so wholeheartedly. You realise now that I was so distraught to find myself so absolutely helpless, unable to speak and move it is hardly surprising I had thoughts of suicide. I still do but now they are more academic and not a lingering obsession.

When you take a challenge like this on, the cold reality of the massive commitment and dedication required are certainly not apparent. My only thoughts were about not giving up. So I began to use the ability I have to be stubborn in a creative way. For example: If I couldn't solve a physical problem I would exhaust my knowledge of the properties of matter and physics trying to find alternatives my limited mobility might succeed in. If this failed I reached inside for the optimist and used the situation to see some aspect that was funny.

Of course if I knew then, what I know now, I may have shrunk away. Therein is the lesson, the longest and most difficult journey begins with the first step and the unwavering effort of putting 1 step in front of the other.


On a lighter note I had Carmen and Alex on Friday evening. Ruth and Carmen on Saturday and netball tournament with Carmen today . She received her second certificate for player of the week. She is a star! Showing real leadership and displaying all the self-doubt and humility of good leadership. I'm so proud of her!