Lonely Bubble

Encouraged by the thoughts and words of other people . I often think that, I am alone in my bubble, which is the exclusion zone created by a wheelchair. Yet, we are all "alone". It is because we are, that we seek others to make contact with. We look to others and hope, hope that their being will prove we are not alone. So it is that to be ourselves we want others to affirm us.

In truth, we need to be ourselves first, to seek to accept ourselves for who we are, to let that knowledge affirm us. Being who I am is neither a good nor a bad thing. Being who I am doesn't mean I don't need to change, indeed I will change as I go through life. My happiness must come from the knowing, that I am growing. Becoming something better, something admirable and pleasing.

The thorns and the rose are more, when they have each other.

BEING

Sitting in the evening  light which is filtering in through my hospital window.
I am reading a book on my e-reader on the pc. My mind jumps from the story to the day’s events.

So here it is; the body is finely tuned. Each muscle and joint balanced with another. Disturbing the balance slightly will have a big effect. Undoing the damage is slow and painful. I am being stretched and pushed to correct tight muscles on one side of my body which is pulling me over and changing my posture.

I feel subdued, reflective and a little melancholy. How hard life is and how difficult it has become.  Being who I am now takes constant effort. The discipline is draining. Weariness and pain always present.

Giving  in isn’t an option  and being anything else isn’t either.