Fresh Bread

Still no news of Valentino, I can't see that I will find him now. There has been 1 phone call, in response to my notices, some teenager playing around "looking for a bird". Well good luck to him,I say. All the birds in my life have flown.

I have a busy week ahead. Angela, my new assistant, arrives on Monday afternoon. She will board with me until she finds accommodation. I am looking forward to getting to be more productive.

I have not been in good spirits lately. My heart is heavy and my outlook (normally positive) is dim and depressed. I know that my life is very limited and loneliness will be with me, but it is very difficult to live with the gnawing emptiness.

I invited my neighbours over yesterday for home made chicken soup and fresh baked bread. We had a good evening.

Lost

I am heartbroken with the loss of my friend Valentino. As a friendly cockatiel I may be lucky to get him back. I have put notices up and posted leaflets around. There's a small chance he will be found and I can only hope I have done enough to get him back.

The weather in these parts is poor again. It hasn't been the best summer. Despite the weather I have had a reasonable crop of vegetables and yesterday I gave the children a big roast meal with fresh garden vegetables. We ate outside in the conservatory and had a pleasant afternoon.

Quiet has descended as the children left early. I am catching up on one or 2 e-mails before I go outside to the conservatory to read. (it's a holiday today)

Memories and Musings

Sunny Sunday morning with wintery chill in the summer sun. My mind wanders to home, to youth, to easier times when life was simpler and my struggle was simply to grow up. I had a Facebook contact with a school friend from my younger days. I only spent 4 years in Empangeni but I remember my friends often. Many have joined Facebook and my mind gets dragged back in to the memories with every contact.

I had a Skype message from my mother today and she tells me they had some things stolen from the garage. Yes, it is upsetting to have someone unknown violate your space but what can you do? They maybe needed the things more after all.

My children have been away for 2 weeks, on holiday with Colleen and her boyfriend. I think the gap in my life and the total sense of isolation brought about through this paralysis adds to a feeling of abandonment. My world is insular now. From being outgoing and extrovert I am become reserved introspective. I hesitate to say brooding and melancholy but I wonder if this is the next stage? I don't go quietly into this state, I am a firm believer and I have faith in a purpose for all that has happened. I won't go timidly into the night, but I will fight against the fading of the light. Help me.

I have a big burn on my hand from a hot tea spill and Valentino (cockatiel) seems wary of it. He gave it a nibble but I think the smell of antiseptic puts off. He loves listening to music and climbs down from shoulder and clambers onto my desk displaying juvenile clumsiness before stomping all over my keyboard. I had to delete what he wrote, for fear of offending someone or falling fowl (hee hee) of Google decency rules.

I went to our new offices on Friday and it looks good we should be kicking off some courses soon. We desperately need to get the cash in.

Life in the "summer sun"

Life in the UK can be fantastic when the sun shines. Except that it is so elusive and keeps hiding behind the clouds. Some days have been good and some pictures out in my back garden .

In Eddie's place (a little patio surrounded by vegetable beds)you can easily pick cabbage carrots, parsnip,tomato, rocket, lettuce, beans, corn, basil and sorrel.

Coming off the deck

The apple tree (behind me, out of the frame) is laden with apples and I hope the corn follows suit.

Valentino watching me work.

View of the back garden with the herbs to the right of the trampoline

For those who have asked about the chair it has been serviced and adjusted and it is better but still not right. I have developed poor posture and I can't work out what the problem is. Thank you all for the kind words and concern.

Desperation

If you are a regular reader you will notice the tone a the shortening of my posts. I have struggled to be in the chair and the constant fight is playing tricks with my focus and concentration. This is very debilitating and I am in a bad mood most of the time. I have so much to do and I keep getting further behind.

I need a replacement for my PA, Linda. It pays well and I need someone ASAP any suggestions?