I woke up thinking about how I have changed. I have changed so much. I am a morning person and love an early start to get my thoughts together and to enjoy the stillness before the day begins. I love nothing more than to be busy with a hobby or project. Now I am struggling to do anything. Sleep is a slippery companion. I am mostly in pain or on the edge of being in pain; a cough, even a yawn can set off a reaction which twists my waist and drives the pain further.
So I make it through each night with intermittent sleep. I don't mind that so much but its the days that drive me mad. I barely get things done because of distractions due to pain and posture.
It's my relationships that suffer too. I don't get out and I don't do much. I feel like a stranger to my children. Their lives don't include me. I don't blame them anyway any contact with me is honestly boring by any standards (never mind a teenager) .
"Enough of the woe is me", I hear you say. You are undoubtedly correct to make this remark. My defence is that I am trying to give the account of my experience in the chair as this was the purpose of my blog in the first place. Also, to be fair, I am concerned at the amount of time I waste dealing with the consequences.
My mind remains active and I am developing 2 ideas into products which I hope to put into test soon.
2 comments:
Hello there Julius - so pleased to see fresh blogs... you have been on my mind.
I am concerned that you are in so much pain - is there no solution to manage it?
Sending you much love and healing.
Evey
Hey Julius!! Glad to see you blogging again. I don't think that being a stranger to your kids is due to your disability, it is normal teenage behaviour. My kids find me boring & rarely wish to spend time with me & I'm not disabled! They will turn into human beings again eventually, or so my friends with older kids tell me, so that keeps me feeling hopeful. Take care if yourself, love Gail S
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