The tension from Friday's meeting weighs heavily on me. Friday and Saturday night were sleepless. I sat my electric powered bed up to overcome the tension in my shoulders and neck. I listened to the radio, I tried the TV, without glasses (I didn't think it fair to wake up Lawrence for my glasses!) nothing seemed to work. How could I recover from this news? Always expected, always concious of my vulnerability, it feels like my paralysis is complete. Or will I lose my powered wheelchair and house next? The life I have been at such care to construct is collapsing. My children depend on me and so much else hangs on me getting up and starting again. Hearing words of rejection from people who represent the company I was so proud to work for, is like falling off the roof of your house. Hurt and winded you struggle to call for help.



I had to ask my children to leave on Sunday as I was too tired and tense. They had come to bring me some Father's Day gifts and cards.

The day passed without further incident.