It's been a week since my last post. I have not been able sit down and write. Not because of any specific physical reason but a deep lethargy, possibly laziness, and a deleterious attitude to self and to life. An attitude which rots the soul, destroys laughter and motivation. I have lived like a robot, reactively responding to events with a negative shrug of resignation.

It has to stop or I will sink into the slimy pit of self-pity. The seductive call of failure is a powerful temptation. A soft voice, urging, chiding my stubbornness.

Damn. Damn. Damn.


It's exhausting to write about this but I have to. If I was OK, my heart wouldn't ache, my dreams wouldn't be empty, my world so dimm and full of echoes.

Echoes. How I hate echoes. They remind me of emptiness, of loneliness, of self answered calls. Mocking.