Its Monday and the prospects of the next few weeks lie daunting and insurmountable before me. I face, again the anticipation of a carer changes and training. Sure I've done it before, and sure,I'll do it again. Lurking,always in the background, are my work, Christmas, the future....

The future lies stretching before me, fading into the distance ,like a lonely desert road.

Colleen came out of hospital on Saturday after a successful operation. When I dropped off the children she seemed relaxed and happy.

I had a wonderful time with my kids and enjoyed seeing them for the 4 days. Bursting with life and good nature. They are normal and healthy, considering what they've been through.