I would have slept OK last night but the heating programmer failed again (on all the time). So I woke up Partha (carer) and turned it off.

I have received some warm words in response to the last post. Heidi thanks, and I love you too. I thank you all. Of course I am trying to work out what I do next. I have to work this out with the guys at work first and get a bit more understanding of the situation. I would like some advice from an employment expert and I do need to tread very carefully.

I have been enlightened to something I was not aware of. (Thanks to John). I have tended towards writing newsletters when I am going or have been through a bad patch. The result is I appear depressed sad and lonely. I am none of these. I have found writing a form of release, so sorry about the "downers "!I I am a positive bloke but I do have my bad times.

For Rodney and Dad, just to let you know the NiCd battery in the inner front door failed and I showed Partha how to change. So hopefully it will be OK.

I am going to install an alternative energy saving device soon. I am looking at a wind generator and photo voltaic (PV). If anybody has any information on this I would appreciate it.